Just another year...

Today is my birthday. The big 25... getting older by the day. I honestly can't believe how the time flies. I'm half way to 50!!!!!!!!!!! That totally freaks me out!

I always think that birthdays are the perfect time for some great introspection on life and the grand scheme of things. The reality is that every year is a year closer to old age and death. The faster these birthdays seem to speed by simply means that my time here on earth is slipping through my fingers more and more quickly.

I don't mind the fact that I will die. Eventually we all will die. I am secure in the knowledge that I will be rejoicing in heaven and I am not afraid of death. What really does actually bothers me is what I'll be leaving behind. Kevin and my kids mean the world to me and I can't stand the thought of leaving them to fend for themselves.... Granted I don't actually expect to be dying anytime to soon. ;0)

I guess the past year or so has really taught me a lot about expecting the unexpected. Sickness, Death and Divorce are all ugly realities in our world. These things and problems strike even the most unlikely canidates with no real discrimination. Thinking about these sorts of things makes me so grateful for the life that I have.

I love my husband and I love my kids. There are days and nights when I truly feel that if I loved them anymore than I do at this exact moment my heart would burst from pure happiness and joy. It's almost physically painful at time because I love them so much.

I dread the possiblity that this might all end. The little chubby arms and kisses galore, the late nights snuggling with Kevin. The little adoring looks on the faces of our babies... the scent of baby powder lingering in the air. The impish smiles and dolphin laughs... the growly gurgles and little tricks. This is the stuff that dreams are made of. Despite some of my day to day frustrations, I know that these are without a doubt some of the best days of my life and I intend to fully cherish every moment of them.