Floundering....

Sometimes I just feel lost. There is no better way to describe it. I'm floating along doing my best to raise my gorgeous little babies in accordance with God's will, but there are times when I just feel myself floundering.

I've been really reveling in motherhood since Matty has been born and although I loved being involved in the Master's program at Notre Dame de Namur I really missed spending time with Matty that I otherwise would have been spending on school stuff.

However, I'm beginning to even question my whole direction in regards to teaching. What I always wanted to do was become a Christian psychologist.... and really that is where my heart lies. At this rate though I can't really picture myself spending a ton of extra time getting another BA and then another Master's on top of that when I can't even find time to finish my Master's in education to begin with!!!!!

I love being a mother and a wife... but I know that is not meant to be my only calling in life. Time after time God has assured me that I have amazing potential and a miraculous purpose in my life... but sometimes it's hard to see it when I'm covered in burp up and am running on only 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night.

Kevin is so awesome when it comes to encouragement and making my dreams become a reality.... but right now I can't seem to look beyond being a damn good Mommy and a kick ass wife. Maybe I'm being a bit short-sighted -but I'm happy with the way things are right now. I'm going to have to jump that bridge when I come to it.

I guess this pretty much sums up the Mothering/work dilemma. I miss working and school.... but I would desperately miss my kids too!