Birthday Party From Hell

Yesterday we were invited to a giant birthday party for Matthew's little friend Hayley.

Hayley invited the entire kindergarten class to her house. The party was complete with a temporary tattoo station, face painting and a giant jumper. It was as close to kid heaven as you can get.

Matthew was having a blast.... up until about an hour into the party when he started heavily coughing in the jumper. He ran up to me gasping for a cough drop. Just as I dropped the cough drop into his mouth his little face turned bright red and he spewed vomitty water/cough drop/corn dogs in the living room. It was actually quite an impressive distance. His pukage got a good three feet distance.

It was mortifying. I'm trying to clean up the floor and comfort Matthew while all the other parents stared at me with mouths agape. I get Matthew calmed down and clean up the floor. Then we go to track down Phoebe.

Ahh.... dear little hellion Phoebe.

Phoebe was in the jumper and refusing to get out. Literally sat at the furthest corner of the bouncer crying and refusing to budge.

I wait and I wait. There is no way I can climb in there. My back was hurting like a mofo and I had nowhere to put Birdie without her screaming because she refuses to let me put her down.

Phoebe finally climbs out after a good ten minutes of protest. She then refuses to put on her shoes and then she decides to collapse on the ground screaming, "NO LEAVE HAYLEY HOUSE!!! I NO GO!!!!" Hysterics continue.

People are once again looking at me like I've grown an extra head.

Matthew starts crying saying he wants to go. Phoebe walks two steps and collapses screaming again about the injustice of it all. I take her hand as she collapses for a third time.

As soon as we were out of sight of the house and partygoers I locked my arms under my Smelly Cat's armpits and dragged her the rest of the way to the car.

I think it is a safe bet that we won't be invited to any more birthday parties for a long time.

Oy.