My little Phoebe Bug....

My little bitty Phoebe Bug is here! Everything has been such a whirlwind. I feel as though I just found out I was pregnant but here she is already!

The birth went fairly well. I feel proud of myself for attempting my VBAC even if I failed in the end. I had gone into the whole thing with the determination that I would try my best and leave the rest up to God and that is what I did.

I will admit that I was very disappointed that I failed at first. I had been on pitocin all day and had been trying and trying and when the Dr. told me that we still hadn't progressed at all I was upset. I knew we were going to have to go for a c-section but when all of the surgeons flooded my room at the hospital I started to get a bit emotional. I totally started having flash backs to how awfully sick I was when I had Matty and it was all so overwhelming. I started to cry while the surgery nurses were asking me my medical questions and trying to prep me. I think I hid my tears fairly well and quickly rebounded with an optimistic attitude.

Being in any operating room is scary. It took my anesthesiologist two tries for my epidural and that actually really hurt like hell but otherwise he was very nice and super personable. He talked to me through the entire prepping time to keep me calm and after Kevin left with Phoebe, he was especially kind. Something that was kind of funny but calming at the same time was that his eyes were very similar to my Dad's... he even had the same kind of crazy eyebrows that used to make me smile.

The worst thing about the c-section was the way that your blood pressure drops during the surgery. The anesthesiologist had to keep shooting my iv with adrenaline to keep my bp up. That starts making you shake and you start feeling a bit paniky the harder you shake. Then right at the end while they are putting your intestines back in and basically welding you back together I always get sick to my stomach. They had to hold out a basin for me to throw up in and all the surgeons had to keep waiting for me to stop throwing up so they could resume and then I'd just end up throwing up again!!! They must have been getting pretty frusterated with my weak stomach!

The surgeons told me that it was actually a good thing we went for the c-section. The way Phoebe was pushing on my scar tissue from my previous c-section was basically a time bomb and if I had insisted on going further with the VBAC, I absolutely would have ruptured my uterus.

All in all, I'm delighted with the end result. Phoebe is so gorgeous and I've already recovered so well. What more could I ask for?? I never cease to be amazed by the way that God looks out for me. Little Phoebe is truly my little Thanksgiving baby!