Matty and "Biggie"....

On Sunday some of Kevin's church guy friends came over to watch football because we something with extra channels so the guys can flip through a bunch of football games that interest them.

Well before that I had asked Kevin to clear out his closet because he kept just throwing stuff in there and complaining he can never find anything. Anyways, in the process of clearing out his closet he came across a bunch of his funny gag gifts from his friends.

One of those "hilarious" gifts is a joke bachelor party present that happens to be a giant 2 ft rubber dildo otherwise known as "Biggie" ( TOTALLY NOT USABLE- just to be clear it is strictly a joke gift.) The deal with Biggie is that Kevin was the first to get married among his high school friends and it was given to Kevin with the idea that Biggie is supposed to be re-gifted to all the subsequent guys in their high school clique to get married. Kevin still has Biggie because although it's already been 5 1/2 years, no one else is even close to getting married.... but I digress.

So Kevin's church buddies show up and Kevin stuffs a bunch of the stuff back into the closet. Matty apparently chooses that moment in time to go rooting around in Kevin's closet in search of golf balls and comes across Biggie. Matty of course decides that it's the most awesome weapon/sword he's ever seen.

As I'm putting Phoebe down in her crib for her afternoon nap I see out of the corner of my eye Matty skipping down the hallway waving Biggie wildly above his head.

I sprint toward Matty ( In what feels like slow motion by the way) - "NOOooooooooooooo!!!!!"

I scoop him up second before he would have entered the living room and wrestle Blackie away from him. Amongst Matty's peppering of questions I explain that this belongs to Daddy and it needs to stay high, high, high in his closet where hopefully it won't see the light of day until one of Kevin's high school buddies finally gets married.

The crisis of our good upstanding church friends being exposed to Blackie was averted- Thank Heavens. I REALLY wouldn't have wanted to try to explain it away.... but it was totally hilarious considering I escaped having Biggie the big topic of discussion among our church members. ;0)